This will probably be one of the most difficult things to share. But being finally being on the outside, I feel I have more clarity and less emotion in the matter.
We were NICU parents for 84 days.
None of it was planned or expected. My labor was a surprise to everyone, including my doctor and the L&D doctor March 16th. I don't remember too much from those first couple weeks to be honest and I think it's probably for the best. I do remember the warm eyes and touches from the doctors and nurses. I remember the handmade blanket with holes to hang on the isolet. I remember the nurses "graduating" the boys often and having so much joy and happiness to take every step.
We were lucky, most babies born at 29 weeks don't have our story. The boys had lung development problems which is pretty much a given for that age. But we got out without surgery or anything terrifying. And trust me, the things that can happen will make your heart sink. But, we did have damage. Noah is still scared of the hospital, I still don't lift the boys' legs too high when I change them. My body stopped producing milk. Our family is forever changed.
But we are together, finally. The boys are thriving and Noah is the best big brother in the world! We have the boys next to me at night in a full size arms reach co-sleeper and they nap in rock n' sleepers. They are chubby bundles of joy and no matter how hard and chaotic the past three months has been, we are together. 💗
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